Note: I wrote this on 01/04/2024 during a lonely phase.
What if love never finds us?
No, like seriously - what if love never finds you? It’s a stupid question to ask, but a difficult one to answer. Love is messy, it’s awful, but still we chase it a lot. Most love is just there, but to receive it, is a privilege. It hurts you a lot, even unintentionally, even when you pursue it with the purest of intentions. Even in the most nurturing conditions, you can experience Lingchi. But still, we pursue it.
We are complex creatures, there are many things we do that make sense, but some things just don’t. Even in the strangest, to the most vile environments, we can find hope. Perseverance. That’s human. You can say all that you don’t deserve love, but you do. Love is not superficial - it is thorough. It has power to both keep you afloat, or make you sink deep into its trenches - but it will not keep you dry. Love on its own is intrinsic, but if it includes other feelings, things get a lot messy - whether it is ego, or expectation, or judgment.
The good news is that Love will find you. Maybe not in the form you expect, because it is much deeper than that. It shows when you least expect it, but the only way to ensure you receive it, is to just give it. It’s a contagious chain reaction.