Note: I wrote this on my 21 birthday - 19/11/2023

Letter to Myself on my 21 Birthday [Date - 19-11-2023]

Life has been a big roller coaster for me. Although on the surface it doesn’t seem like much, a fair share of my “life lessons” seem very obvious. So, on the day I turn 21, I would like to share with you 21 so-called lessons(or advice) that have helped me a lot. The playlist for the same is linked at the bottom, so you can always listen to these life lessons 😙

• 01. Lose Yourself(Eminem) : Life is actually really short. We often think too much about our decision and the long term implications it might have, without ever fully enjoying the present. Depression is caring too much about the past, and anxiety is caring too much about the future. Relax a little. Find your purpose in life, and immerse yourself completely in that craft. You get only 1 shot at life, so make most of it.

• 02. All Time Low(Jon Bellion) : Without the highs and lows, life would be very boring and mundane. The problem however is that we often weigh the lows way more than the highs - and that makes sense, but what we need is a little change or perspective. We should try to find silver linings in the darkest of the clouds and not be too hard on ourselves. Sometimes time heals the deepest of wounds, and even when there is a small chance of happiness - latch onto it.

• 03. Silence(Khalid, Marshmello) : My mind is mostly a constant mess, and dealing with a mess is not a very rewarding process - but an absolutely important task. Silence keeps me sane most of the time(although I really like to vent out as well). Distracting myself to not listen to my own thoughts is a patchy solution, and not something I like to do. Accept yourself, and be at peace with it.You will be surprised how rewarding this simple exercise is, and with time, you’ll get a lot better at untangling complex things.

• 04. Attention(Charlie Puth) : It’s all you need. It is one of our most valuable assets and judicious use of it will work wonders for you. Do what makes you happy. You’ve only got around 4000 weeks of this amazing life, and it is too short to waste on things that you don’t like. When something is out of your control, try to find different reasons to enjoy life. Be crazy when it comes to things you love and focus on things that makes you happy(and not too much on small things)

• 05. Let me down slowly(Alec Benjamin) : I think I am a very sensitive person, and I have come to terms with the fact that I can’t deal with too much at a time. Take your time with people, emotions and situations if you feel that is necessary. Most of life is trying to understand yourself, and the better you get at it, the better things get in life. Practice - “La dolce far niente”(the sweet taste of doing nothing). Not everything in life is measured in achievements, most of the time you can substitute achievements for memories.

• 06. There’s nothing holding me back(Shawn Mendes) : Confidence has been a really tricky domain for me due to the duality of this trait. Confidence has the ability to make you go from top of the world to the bottom of the mariana trench in a matter of seconds. I have always believed that confidence as a placeholder for lack of knowledge - and boy was I wrong. Confidence comes naturally. You absolutely don’t need to “fake” it. Give yourself an environment where confidence grows naturally - then literally nothing can hold you back. One quote that has always stuck with me was “Confidence is Silent, and Insecurities are Loud”. Think if you are worried about your confidence or your insecurities.

• 07. Beautiful mistakes(Maroon 5) : Mistakes are absolutely necessary in order to grow. I’ve spent way too much time setting myself on some seriously high standards and not allowing myself to commit mistakes and needless to stay, that took a very big toll on myself. Try and fail at different things, but with each attempt, increase your optimism(and enthusiasm) level. You will be shocked just how powerful this small thing is. There’s no award at the finishing line of life, so don’t be your worst critic and go out there and learn from your experiences and mistakes. Commit beautiful mistakes.

• 08. Could’ve just left me alone(Alexa Cappelli) : I’m not someone who makes friends very easily. Self peace is really important for me, and with time I’ve become more acquainted with how and why I set up boundaries. I value deep connections more than shallow ones, and if that means I bring the Dunbar number down - so let it be. For me, getting used to myself, my quirks and building a great personal relationship with myself was my number one priority. Being unapologetically yourself and being comfortable and true with yourself will save a lot of mental effort to deal with shallow people.

• 09. I Ain’t worried(One Republic) : Life is still very scary for me. I have to constantly deal with way too many unknowns and I used to believe I have to somehow completely “solve” life so I don’t have to deal with uncertainties. Now that I have experienced a good chunk of life, I can safely confirm that it is completely idealistic. Find your sources of strength and live your life by keeping your head high. Be a little empathetic towards yourself.

• 10. Good things fall apart(Jon Bellion) : This is a really important lesson one needs to learn - however bitter it may seem. I know what it means to give all and still fail, but that’s life. Even if you’re born with a silver spoon, life has a way to teach you a lesson. Dealing with failures and trying to make the best out of the situation is a really important weapon in your arsenal. There are no roadmaps to life, and however scary it sounds - that is the reality(or thrill) of life. We heal and deal in our own ways. Make sure your tools are well polished and not rusty.

• 11. Mystery of Love(Sufjan Stevens) : Love works in mysterious ways. However cinema-ish it may sound, it will happen naturally - you just need to listen to yourself a little. Love is complex. You become both vulnerable and strong, at the same ; you learn a lot about yourself as well. Don’t rush too much. Take your time. Love will find you and hold onto you when you least expect it.

• 12. Spend some time alone inside my head(Philip Brooks) : Spending time with yourself can build a really strong interpersonal relationship which will help you a lot in sustaining future relationships. Do anything that helps you clear out your mind - be it meditation, talking to someone, walking. Clarity is not something you are born with, but it is something you get really good at throughout your adult life. The happier you are with yourself, the quickly you can figure out how to make others happy as well. Be positive with yourself, and cut yourself some slack.

• 13. Everything I wanted(Billie Eilish) : When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut, in sixth grade I wanted to be a footballer, and after tenth it turned out to be a scientist. The definition of what everything I wanted from life has been evolving daily. I have tried previously to push myself very hard for glory by attaching my self worth to achievements, and it turns out(surprise, surprise) it is not really a good thing to chase. Now I want completely different things from life, and I’m sure within some time I might be able to do it.

• 14. Hopeless(Connor Price) : Hope is a really touchy topic for me. I have been hopeless in many situations in life, but(although, it took a lot of time and analysis) I’ve never really lost hope. Questions like Will it hurt my pride? Why do I have to depend on others ? have really been fundamental to my understanding of myself. My advice is, never lose hope. Even if it is 0.001% , count on it.

• 15. Night Changes(One Direction) : Time changes everyone and everything. The best thing about life is that it will always give you second chances. Choose your battles, and fight if you think it is worth it. Nothing is permanent, and however bad you think the situation is, night changes. You might not be able to change the situation, but a little change of perspective and making the best out of the situation will make you more adaptable.

• 16. Accidents(Haux) : Accidents have been really blissful for me. I am really grateful for many things that have happened to me just because I was at the right place at the right time. Whether it was meeting new people, thinking about some random ideas or talking to people about their life experiences-a fortunate stroke of serendipity has really blessed my life. Life works in mysterious ways. Instead of questioning about why and how, just say thank you and move on.

• 17. It’s okay if you forget me(Astrid S) : Don’t pressure yourself into being someone who you are not. You don’t want to live your life on someone else’s path - however scary it may sound. That’s why I don’t like role models - they try to romanticize life’s journey, something I believe is a job for oneself. Life is too short to measure in materialistic achievements, once you should try measuring in moments. I realized a year back that I was putting too much pressure on myself to be someone, and believed the only difference was some delta amount of hard work. However good that sounds, that is just not true. Don’t bind yourself. Live freely.

• 18. Perceive(Doma Cyno) : In life, there will be many scenarios where you have to choose between the conventional societal option or something else. This pull of societal standards is really tempting - since the moment you are born, in some way or another, there are some unnecessary expectations that are forced upon you. People perceive you a certain way, and will continue to do so and will find some or other hook to latch onto. The lesson is to just not listen to it. These young adulthood years are very necessary for defining and creating your own image. Take pride in it.

• 19. Be Sweet(Japanese Breakfast) : It’s that simple. People don’t bite, so you might as well be sweet to those who deserve it. Kindness and humility are qualities which people take advantage of the most, there’s no reason to stop practicing that. Being a good person is 100 times more difficult than being a good professional, and is an acquired skill. Focus on being a better person, and many doors will open automatically for you.

• 20. In the End(Linkin Park) : Finally, don’t take things too seriously. I like to think of failures as setbacks, and setbacks as plot points. I know my worth, and I know things will align for me one way or another. In the end, milestones will make you happy for a day or two, but enjoying the journey will give you memories for a lifetime. Take a chill pill dude. Relax and soak it all in.

• 21. Hell of a Life(Kanye West) : Do I think I’ve lived a ‘hell of a life’ - absolutely yes. Many experiences, meeting with many people and with many failures and little success, I think I’ve lived a really good life till now. There were many mistakes that I made, and I’m glad I did. There is so much more to live, to learn and to love. I hope I keep getting better and be more comfortable with myself. Cheers to what is about to happen.

Listen to all of lessons in a Spotify playlist here.

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